21 Ways To Be a Good Democrat!!

In an effort to illustrate that I embrace and encourage all bi-partisan visitors to our blog, I offer the following. For those who do not agree with my conservative views, you may strengthen yourself and proudly pronounce your pledge by abiding by the

21 Ways to be a good Democrat

1). You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2). You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3). You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4). You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5). You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6) You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7). You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

8). You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9). You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10).You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11). You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.

12). You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13). You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14) You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15). You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set asides are not.

16). You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is a good person.

17) You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge

18). You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19). You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal

20). You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21). You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

Short and Sweet

...and I'm not talking about my wife!! I mean, she is sweet, and shorter than....never mind. I was referring to my post, not....tell ya what--just forget it.

So I'm back from the weekend, surprise anniversary extravaganza with Leah. More on that to follow--Either from me, or from her (if she can remember her password). I was asked tonight by the honorable Jeff Rushing about the gap in posts, which, aside from having to come up with some justifiable explanation, it did encourage me--at least 3 people read my blog--my wife, my cousin Steve, and Jeff!! For all I know, they print it off and use it for bathroom reading, but hey.....you gotta start somewhere, right?!

Seriously......I got this thing started, and I'll admit I've been a bit undisciplined about updating. I promise I'll do better. In the meantime, I'm going to my room to write "I will update my blog more regularly" on 5 pages. Front AND back. On college-ruled paper. Death, where is thy sting?

Two Years (almost) and Counting.....

One week from today, Leah and I will celebrate 2 years of marriage. All I can say is, "Wow!" Has it REALLY been two years?!?! Our wedding day was lots of fun, and we've both said over and over how much fun we had (heck, I even played 9 holes of golf that morning, but I'm guessing that's not what Leah is referring to). Sure, there were a few "miscues", but nothing major. People still tell us how much fun they had at our reception. From the "chicken dance" and "YMCA" (starring my father-in-law!!) to a rehearsal dinner "See how well you know them" quiz (won by my best man, Scott Rushing), we had TONS of fun planning it all and would do it again in a heartbeat (that that would involved lawyers and a divorce, but you know what I mean).

The Eric-meister has some surprises up his sleeve for anniversary celebrations. Stay tuned for reports, perhaps some pictures, and maybe I can talk Leah into blogging about it when it's all said and done. But as far as giving out any clues.....Fuhgettaboutit!!

Kick Someone's BUTT

What's up with smokers? Their motto should be "The world is our ashtray." Coming back from lunch today, I spotted 2 different drivers finish their Brand Smooth Ultra Light Turkish Jade Low Tar 100's Menthol and proceed to drop it into the street. Now, help me understand the logic. Why do you not want to deposit this into a receptacle (an ashtray, perhaps?!) in your vehicle? Too dirty? Too smelly? Afraid your 4-year old might go digging in it? Oh, I see. Most cars come with ashtrays (I got one that GM charged me $30 for, and I don't even use it), unless you buy the new "smoke free" models--and I'm SURE no smoker would do that. I've even seen a pile of ashes and butts in the Kroger parking lot--apparently the smoker couldn't either walk to one of the 16 trashcans on the property or wait until they got home to empty their ashtray. I just don't get it. Maybe that nicotine erases some logic and consideration. I'm not saying that there aren't non-smokers who litter, but this is such a commonly observed phenomenon, I thought I'd bring it up. But I guess they DO have logic occasionally.....I'm sure they refrain from this behavior while pumping gas.

A Bunch of Liberal GARBAGE--Literally

OK, so suppose you buy a house in the area of a landfill. I'm sure you knew about it when you signed on the dotted line (I'm assuming that you did because your REALTOR subscribes to a strict code of ethics which would require this disclosure. What? No REALTOR? You used your Aunt Sally's first-cousin Mable, who is really sweet?! Well, ask her why she didn't tell you about it). But for the moment, let's assume you knew about the landfill. Now the landfill owner wants to expand a bit because, as you've probably witnessed with your own garbage can, it doesn't go away. Or shrink. Or disintegrate. So what's a property owner to do?! Cry racism, of course! Darn those white people for dropping a landfill, right-out-of-the-blue, smack dab in the middle of a predominantly black neighborhood. I'm sure they laid out a map and said, "Let's go show those poor blacks who's boss, and discourage home ownership for their future generations by lowering property values."

Alas, the race card. They know it well. Always in their shirt pocket to play at their leisure. Tearing down the local laundromat--it's because of RACE. Putting metal detectors in a bank where 15 employees have been shot at--Has to be blatant racism. So now they've coined a new phrase "environmental racism." Jesse Jackson would be proud.
NAACP joins battle over landfil

Blogging From the Music City

After a 6:00pm cool and energetic concert at church by Christian youth-inspiring artist Al Denson, I jumped on I-40 East for a late-night trip to our state's capital. This blog finds me in a very economical $44.99/night room at Red Roof Inn that is super-convenient to my training location tomorrow. But you know that ole saying "You get what you pay for"?? Whether that was Confuscius or Dad, they knew what they were talking about it. Hampton has a closet, with ironing board and iron. Nope. An in-room hair dryer? Puuhhhlease. What about a nice little notebook or folder in the room, with info about area restaurants and such? Surely you gest. And don't even THINK about asking about wireless or high-speed internet connection. Remember what a modem is? I had a hard time remembering, too..

That's about it for now....I need to be in my class at the Greater Nashville Assoc. of Realtors in a little less than 8 hours. And I should get up early for continental breakf......never mind. Cracker Barrel or Waffle House, anyone??

There's Always '05

Well, my sports teams are putting my loyalty to a test.

Cubs: lost 7 of their last 9 games, blowing their chance at the playoffs and ending the season that many analysts saw them going to (and winning) the World Series. They won more games than last year's Steve Bartman-doomed squad, but this team is playing golf in the Caribbean a month earlier.

Titans: After a semi-impressive win in week one (against a team that has yet to win one 4 weeks later), the Titans have lost two home games to division opponents, and finds themselves at 1-3 and in the division cellar all alone. The bright side is that we started 1-4 in 2002 and ended up one game from the Super Bowl. The bad news is that, hell, I don't have that much time. My early season prediction, based on what I've seen the last 4 weeks. 9-7 and missing the playoffs. I hope I'm wrong, but time will tell.

NHL: Who cares. The "we're not backing down" money-hungry players union has caused a lock out, so there may not even be a season. That, and I ain't from Canada, so I don't give a rat's-you-know-what about hockey.

Tennessee Specialty Plates - THEY-R-PC

Doesn't political correctness just kill you (see also: Liberals Gone Wild below)?? Most drivers (and passengers for that matter) are familiar with the numerous specialty plates available in Tennessee.....Drivers drop another 35 bucks/year to show their loyalty & support on their automotive rear-end, and in return, organizations from Universities to sports teams to Arts councils to humane societies get support cash.

How does this process happen? Well, the organization must get 1,000 pre-paid orders together and submit it to the state--that's $35,000 (if you wanna see my work, like that annoying Mrs. Jennings in 10th grade Algebra II, that would be 1,000 x $35 = $35,000). The Titans have done it. The Grizzlies are trying to do it. And now the "Choose Life" anti-abortion people have done it. So what did the pro-choice folks do?

What liberals always do.....rally support and get their own tag, right? No way! They go crying to the court, crying bloody murder (no pun intended) and saying it's unconstitutional!! U.S. District Judge Todd Campbell deemed it "viewpoint discrimination." Puuhhlease. The pro-lifers followed the process and dropped $35000 cash for their beliefs--now why can't the pro-choice folks do the same? All the legal professors, analysts, etc. have said what a fine line this is, and how a Titans or Humane Society plate is fine, but a "Pro-Life" one shouldn't be. "What if the Nazis or KKK were to submit an application?", they say--obviously we need to re-think the law and make more specific rules.

Hogwash. Freedom of speech has its limits.......If the Dept of Safety can tell me that something like "UP YOURS" or "YOU SUCK" is an unacceptable vanity plate (even though I'm offering to pay $35 for it), then why can't thy deny an organization's application for their own plate? If the pro-life people get their plate--fine; that just assures the pro-choice people that they can have theirs (if they come up with 1000 people interested enough in their cause).

Hey, maybe some Peyton Manning/Indianapolis Colts fans could sue and stop the Titans plate!!

'Bachelor' Trip Next Weekend

Next week I'll be flying solo (figuratively, not literally, although I did hold a student pilot's license, but that's a whole other blog) to Nashville to take a real estate class at the Nashville Board of REALTORS. While I'm a bit excited (Leah and I both LOVE Nashville), it will be the first time that Leah and I will be apart since we got married. Now, I'm not expecting to get homesick like some 10-year-old going to summer camp, but it'll be different. My mom always said stuff like, "I just didn't sleep as well if you weren't at home." Although it sounded cryptic and parentally crazy when I heard it, something tells me it'll all hit home next Sunday night at the Motel 6. Damn, I bet Mom was right. Shhhh....If you won't tell her, neither will I.

Wait Til Next Year!!

Well, as of right this second, my beloved Cubbies are 1 out away from essentially ending their season. Sure, they still have two games to play, and their competitors for the lone remaining playoff spot have three, but in all likelihood the flaming-hot Astros or Barry Bonds-led San Fransisco Giants will be claiming that spot. The Cubs have lost 5 of their last 6 games--not something you wanna do in the last week of the season.

Having conceded defeat, I'm not sure who I'll be rooting for in the postseason. It will most likely be my mom's St. Louis Cardinals (one of her lifelong dreams is to go see the Cards in a World Series game), or the Cubs' American League alter-ego (and my cousin Steve's team), the Boston Red Sox. Stay tuned....