Uh Oh.....Ten Minutes Til Wapner
Tomorrow morning, I'm going to uncharted waters. While somewhat confident in the outcome, I still hold a bit of nervousness about it. I love America, and most systems that we have in place are great--I just hope that I feel the same way about it tomorrow. I'm talking about...the legal system.
You see, I am transforming myself, albeit unwillingly, from regular ole Eric C Russell to Defendant Eric Russell in the case file something, docket number whatever. Ouch. So at 10:30 tomorrow morning, I get to show up and throw myself on the mercy of the court--literally.
My ex-neighbor is suing me for her insurance deductible. Suppose that your neighbor has a really big tree in their yard--you know, one of those huge, 100-year old ones with limbs that go on forever. Imagine that one of those substantial, heavy limbs were to fall off and hit your car, most likely causing damage. As upset as you were, maybe frustrated and ticked off, you probably wouldn't go knock on your neighbor's door and insist that he pay your $250 deductible for having it fixed, right?
That's essentially what my neighbor is doing. I had a washing machine hose burst in the middle of the night, causing water damage to most of my carpet and some of my neighbor's (I have an attached, "townhome" style place). Apparently it is standard practice for all insurance companies to consider them two separate dwellings, even though they share a common wall. Well, it seems Miss Neighbor never felt the need to pay her deductible, choosing instead to insist that 1) it was my fault, and 2) I called the people out to do the work anyway. Of course, I'm thinking she could've always said, "No thank you--I don't want you touching my wet carpet. I'll take care of it myself." But suddenly her deductible has more than doubled b/c of late fees, finance charges, etc. and you know who she expects to pay it for her? You guessed it.
At this point, I'd like to sing the praises of my insurance company, Tennessee Farm Bureau. They pitched it to their legal team, and I'm anxious to meet this lawyer who thinks this lawsuit is a insane as I do. For those of you wondering, this case is about negligence. If I was negligent in causing damage (and she could prove it), it would be a different story. But the burden of proof is on the Plantiff, and let's hope that the Judge sees it that way. If His/Her Honor does, there's an image of a snowball and really hot weather that come to mind...
UPDATE: I win! I win! Yo gano! Rule number 1: If you're representing yourself (or if no lawyer wants to take your case b/c it ain't worth their time), watch every episode of Perry Mason, or Divorce Court......heck, maybe read Inherit the Wind. But do something so that you know what you're doing and don't look like some blooming idiot in the courtroom.
Obtaining an official transcript would take too long, so I'll provide a pithy summary of the proceedings. It is public record, so I suppose I'm not doing anything illegal here. PL = plaintiff, DA = defense attorney (i.e., my attorney), and HH (His Honor, the judge)
HH: M'am, you're representing yourself. You can call a witness, such has him, or just get up here and tell us what you want us to know. But the defense counsel has the right to ask follow-up questions, which is called cross-examination.
PL: It doesn't matter--they can go first.
HH: That's not what I said. You're here to provide your proof. It's your lawsuit. I'm not here to coach you and ask you questions. 'Tis your responsibility. That really wouldn't be fair to this other seasoned lawyer, now would it?
PL: Well, Mr. Russell's washing machine hose burst, and he was kind enough to call me, and nice enough to come help me move some furniture out of the way, and nice enough to send this water extraction company over to my house after they finished his. He was ver apologetic and said he was sorry and said he'd take care of it, and the woman from said water extraction company heard him say it but she couldn't be here today because she doesn't work for them anymore.
HH: Is that it? That's everything you want us to know?
PL: Yes, your Honor.
DA: Your Honor, I make a motion to dismiss.
HH: I'll have to agree with that. I rule for the defendant.
(turning to PL and beginning judicial tongue-lashing for making a complete fool out of herself, and tellin her she can appeal within 10 days)
The beauty of all this was that you didn't see me mentioned anywhere in the dialogue. The only thing I had to say under oath was "I do" when asked if I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth.....so help me God. I'm not too sure the outcome wouldn't have been the same had the plaintiff had a lawyer, but this just made it a lot easier. As a matter of fact, my lawyer said that he always tries to think of it from the other side--That is, if he were the prosecuting attorney in the case, how would he have done it? He admitted that he would've had problems prosecuting it. So, Scotty...As much as you were joking when you said it, in my opinion it was pretty close to being a frivolous lawsuit (maybe you should change majors and start practicing law?!).
You see, I am transforming myself, albeit unwillingly, from regular ole Eric C Russell to Defendant Eric Russell in the case file something, docket number whatever. Ouch. So at 10:30 tomorrow morning, I get to show up and throw myself on the mercy of the court--literally.
My ex-neighbor is suing me for her insurance deductible. Suppose that your neighbor has a really big tree in their yard--you know, one of those huge, 100-year old ones with limbs that go on forever. Imagine that one of those substantial, heavy limbs were to fall off and hit your car, most likely causing damage. As upset as you were, maybe frustrated and ticked off, you probably wouldn't go knock on your neighbor's door and insist that he pay your $250 deductible for having it fixed, right?
That's essentially what my neighbor is doing. I had a washing machine hose burst in the middle of the night, causing water damage to most of my carpet and some of my neighbor's (I have an attached, "townhome" style place). Apparently it is standard practice for all insurance companies to consider them two separate dwellings, even though they share a common wall. Well, it seems Miss Neighbor never felt the need to pay her deductible, choosing instead to insist that 1) it was my fault, and 2) I called the people out to do the work anyway. Of course, I'm thinking she could've always said, "No thank you--I don't want you touching my wet carpet. I'll take care of it myself." But suddenly her deductible has more than doubled b/c of late fees, finance charges, etc. and you know who she expects to pay it for her? You guessed it.
At this point, I'd like to sing the praises of my insurance company, Tennessee Farm Bureau. They pitched it to their legal team, and I'm anxious to meet this lawyer who thinks this lawsuit is a insane as I do. For those of you wondering, this case is about negligence. If I was negligent in causing damage (and she could prove it), it would be a different story. But the burden of proof is on the Plantiff, and let's hope that the Judge sees it that way. If His/Her Honor does, there's an image of a snowball and really hot weather that come to mind...
UPDATE: I win! I win! Yo gano! Rule number 1: If you're representing yourself (or if no lawyer wants to take your case b/c it ain't worth their time), watch every episode of Perry Mason, or Divorce Court......heck, maybe read Inherit the Wind. But do something so that you know what you're doing and don't look like some blooming idiot in the courtroom.
Obtaining an official transcript would take too long, so I'll provide a pithy summary of the proceedings. It is public record, so I suppose I'm not doing anything illegal here. PL = plaintiff, DA = defense attorney (i.e., my attorney), and HH (His Honor, the judge)
HH: M'am, you're representing yourself. You can call a witness, such has him, or just get up here and tell us what you want us to know. But the defense counsel has the right to ask follow-up questions, which is called cross-examination.
PL: It doesn't matter--they can go first.
HH: That's not what I said. You're here to provide your proof. It's your lawsuit. I'm not here to coach you and ask you questions. 'Tis your responsibility. That really wouldn't be fair to this other seasoned lawyer, now would it?
PL: Well, Mr. Russell's washing machine hose burst, and he was kind enough to call me, and nice enough to come help me move some furniture out of the way, and nice enough to send this water extraction company over to my house after they finished his. He was ver apologetic and said he was sorry and said he'd take care of it, and the woman from said water extraction company heard him say it but she couldn't be here today because she doesn't work for them anymore.
HH: Is that it? That's everything you want us to know?
PL: Yes, your Honor.
DA: Your Honor, I make a motion to dismiss.
HH: I'll have to agree with that. I rule for the defendant.
(turning to PL and beginning judicial tongue-lashing for making a complete fool out of herself, and tellin her she can appeal within 10 days)
The beauty of all this was that you didn't see me mentioned anywhere in the dialogue. The only thing I had to say under oath was "I do" when asked if I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth.....so help me God. I'm not too sure the outcome wouldn't have been the same had the plaintiff had a lawyer, but this just made it a lot easier. As a matter of fact, my lawyer said that he always tries to think of it from the other side--That is, if he were the prosecuting attorney in the case, how would he have done it? He admitted that he would've had problems prosecuting it. So, Scotty...As much as you were joking when you said it, in my opinion it was pretty close to being a frivolous lawsuit (maybe you should change majors and start practicing law?!).
posted by Eric C at 3:15 PM
3 Comments:
Tell the judge that I think its a frivolous lawsuit. He'll drop it in a second.
funny, funny, funny...I actually did laugh out loud! So is there a possibility that you can counter-sue for the "lost wages" you incurred by having to show up and listen to that drivel?
So what was the Perry Mason moment when she cracked on the stand?
Post a Comment
<< Home